There shouldn’t be an Uncharted movie, you guys

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"But Drake, I thought we already made an Uncharted movie. You know, Uncharted, the videogame."

Okay, so there shouldn’t be an Uncharted movie, you guys. Uncharted 2 ranks as one of my favorite games of all time, but that doesn’t mean I want to see it turned into a movie. There are quality games that could be separate yet equal experiences as movies. Halo comes to mind. A Bioshock movie could be done right. But the Uncharted games are already cinematic experiences. They’ve already hired real actors and had those real actors do the voices and the mo-cap. Uncharted is already a movie, it’s just a movie that you also happen to be playing through.

Nathan Drake, the protagonist of the Uncharted games, is already a fully-formed character. He already has a voice, he already has a look, and both of those are performed or inspired by an existing actor: Nolan North. So when the Uncharted fanboys like me are freaking out over the casting of Mark Wahlberg as Nathan Drake, it’s not because we’re just being stupid fanboys. This casting makes the Uncharted film worse than the Spider-Man reboot. It’s taking a character and world and story that we’ve just recently experienced and loved, gutting it, recasting it, and propping it up like a real-life scene of Weekend at Bernies. So when the fanboys were chanting Nathan Fillion for Nathan Drake, they were doing it because the character of Nathan Drake is already so heavily influenced by Fillion’s Malcolm Reynolds that he’s the only established film actor we can see filling those shoes. I mean, because Harrison Ford is too old. And the casting of Marky Mark isn’t flawed because Marky Mark is a bad actor, it’s flawed because it shows how little the moviemakers are paying attention to the source material. Continue reading

Halo Reach Noble Map Pack

In this episode of Multiplayer Singleplayer, Adam gets the new Halo: Reach Noble Map Pack… or does he?

Pac-Man CE DX is the New Crackness


Remember when the little yellow circle thing ate the little pellets and went waka-waka? Those were good Pac-Man times, right? Remember a bunch of years later when they added a phat techno beat and a timer and made it look like Geometry Wars? Those were good Pac-Man CE times too. Well, in the tradition of those times, if you’re smart enough to drop the 800 MS points today, then you’re going to have some good Pac-Man CE DX times as well.

The original Pac-Man Championship Edition took what the world loved about Pac-Man and made it relevant again. They kept the gameplay we knew and loved and turned everything on its head by adding a timer. This made the game less about staying alive and more about moving as quickly as possible to get a higher score than all of your friends.

Pac-Man Championship Edition DX takes the divergent path of the original CE further down the pellet-popping warp hole. What emerges on the other side has more maps, more modes, and more visual-style choices, all with the most rewarding ghost-gobbling I’ve ever experienced. And yes, Pac-Man now has bombs. Continue reading

Need for Speed Hot Pursuit – Small Complaints – Car Unlocks

Taking the Facebook out of the Farmville

I have a confession to make: I have started playing Farmville.

Welcome to the Farmville Player Protection Program

Still reading? Okay. I know I’m late to the social gaming party. I know that—your mom jokes aside—only your mom plays Farmville now. I guess I started because I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I like videogames, so I thought I should at least experience it firsthand. I’ve been playing it fairly regularly for the past two weeks, and it’s pretty fun. It’s mostly mindless clicking, but like all great casual games, they’ve put in all the right tricks to keep you coming back for more.

But you see, here’s the thing: I had to tell you that I played Farmville. If you were (or are) my Facebook friend, you would have no idea that I grow candy corn from my Facebook profile. Whenever Farmville tries to get me to tell you that I’m doing that, which it does at almost every turn, I say no. I say cancel. I don’t hit share. Because, well, I don’t want everyone on Facebook to know that I play Farmville. And I don’t think I’m alone. It is for this reason that I propose that Farmville provide us the option to dump the Facebook. Continue reading

Civilization V: To Be Completed in 2011

Civilization V is not done yet. It’s good, and it could be great, but for now it is incomplete. Which is too bad, because although Civilization V is not profoundly different from Civilization IV, it is a solid step forward, fixing or improving upon many aspects of the previous Civilization games. Unfortunately, problems with the graphics and the user interface mar what should be a spectacular game.

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Many of the improvements to the game seem so natural, and so logical, that it’s amazing that they weren’t made earlier in the series’ run. The hexagonal tiles are easier to navigate than the old square ones, and result in more natural looking borders. The one-unit-per-tile rule gives battles more strategic depth, and allows you to more easily see the massive armies your opponents are building up on your border. Ranged units can, given suitable cover, be effective in actual battle, unlike the old Civilzation’s use for archers: Fortify ‘em in a city and forget ‘em. City-states add more ways to win, and more ways to hinder your opponents.
Continue reading

Review – Metroid: Other M

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Well, Samus and I agree on one thing.

It’s a Metroid game developed by Team Ninja. When Nintendo dropped this (morph ball) bomb on us at E3 2009, I didn’t know what the guys who made “jubbling” a verb with their Dead or Alive fighting/volleyball games would do with our beloved Samus. Well, I’ve now played through Metroid: Other M in its entirety, and I can tell you this: they did too much to Samus.

The first thing I did when I sat down with Other M—besides removing the solid coat of dust from my Wii—the first thing I did—besides trying to find an option to crank my age up to 99—the first thing I did was sit through a long, melodramatic, boring, and unskippable opening cutscene. To the opening cutscene’s credit, it is the best cutscene in the game, but it’s also the cutscene that is there to train you, to let you know that “hey, there’s gonna be a lot of boring cutscenes.” It’s there to tell you that this isn’t the Metroid game you’re looking for. Continue reading