Tag Archives: Call of Duty

Dear fellow Call of Duty 4 player,

We were in a multiplayer match recently, and you disconnected from me before I could offer a fair rebuttal to your accusations, and so I wanted to take this opportunity, in a public forum, to express my dismay.

First off, I am not homosexual. Despite my gameplay shortcomings, and the way my xbox live headset ups the effeminate nature of my voice, I assure you that I have been attracted to women for as long as I can remember. I love the company of the opposite gender, both as friends and as sexual partners. In fact, I have been with my current girlfriend for ten months now, and things are going very well, thank you. I guess all I mean is, when I shoot you, or you shoot me, or whatever gameplay occurs, if you could refrain from incorrectly calling me “fag,” “faggot,” or implying that you just “butt-fucked” me with that last sniper kill, that would be much appreciated.

Also, if I may go off on a bit of a tangent, I would like to state, matter-of-factly, that there is a huge difference between getting “butt-fucked” and shot with a sniper rifle.  They are different in many respects, for example, one involves a sniper rifle, while the other is primarily governed by the forceful insertion of… I should get back to the point at hand.

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