Tag Archives: oblivion

Insert a Quarter to Continue: DLC and Broken Storylines

Downloadable Content? I love it! It’s like printing free money! It’s a trick we learned from heroin dealers: give people a little bit, but not enough to tide them over, and then charge them exorbitant fees to continue with the taste of heroin that they’ve come to love. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go eat bacon-covered diamonds. Because I’m that fucking rich.

-Unnamed Microsoft Executive

The most obvious complaints against Downloadable Content, or DLC, have been made many times, so I’ll rehash them quickly before I get to my point. Basically, companies sell incomplete games, and then make you pay to complete them. Or, they charge too much for content that adds very little to the game. (“For only $10, you can get the Modern Warfare 2: Hat Editor! Change your character’s hat to a cowboy hat, fedora, or bowler! And if you like the Hat Editor, make sure to get the $5 Hat Editor expansion, which allows you to purchase a baseball hat in one of 4 awesome colors!”) Those are valid points, and reason enough to hate the policy of charging for DLC.

I’d like to add another problem with a lot of DLC: it breaks storylines.

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The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion; I am wasting my fucking life.

This is not what I’m supposed to be doing with my life.

I am wandering the wilderness of Cyrodiil, trying to find a shrine. Or a figurine. Or jumbo potatoes (god-damned potato stealing-Troll).  I’m having fun, of course, but is this why I’m on this world? To wander aimlessly around, exploring nooks and crannies and talking to strangers?

I’ve got a purpose, people. A reason to be here. Sure, others may be fine with the mundane life: a house, a job, some kids, some gold coins, and a couple of spells that are useful around the house. But I’m special. I should be saving the world.

Christ, look at this desk. I better clean it, again. Then I'll finally get some work done. You'll see.

I know exactly what I SHOULD be doing, too. I should go and talk to Baurus, in the Imperial City. He can give me information to help light the candles which will prevent Oblivion from encroaching. But first, well…there’s so many other cool things I could do! I could go to the Arena, and fight. That’s a good way to let off some steam. Or, since I’m already in the town of Anvil, I may as well see if the Fighter’s Guild needs anything done. I tend to get pretty good loot from Fighter’s Guild quests, and maybe that loot will help me, right?

Crap. I’m doing it again. Procrastinating. Continue reading